A little bit about me...

My name is Jessica, I am 30 years old and live in NE Ohio. (O-H...I-O)  I am a mommy to a beautiful little 2 1/2 yr. old.  I have a boyfriend, whom I have been with for eleven (yes eleven) years and counting.  We met when I was 19 years old and he is my partner in crime through the journey of life.  I have always been the girl who wanted to total package.  I wanted the husband, the kids, the white picket fence, all of it. 

 But, I have found that my own version has been SO much more rewarding.  I still believe in the "fairytale" of true love.  I also believe that a great relationship takes work, dedication, and the belief that the juice is worth the squeeze.  Becoming a mother has made me grow as a person in so many ways I didn't imagine.  I have never given so much of myself to anyone, not even my Man.  But, she is the absolute true north of my existence.  Her and my Love both have been my compass in life.  Considering that I was still a "Baby" when My Love and I met, I grew up with him. 

 I have found 30 to be ridiculously better than 20 ever was.  Its true what they say, that you have such a better sense of who you are, what you want and who you want to do all that with.  I try not to take one single moment for granted.  So I hope that you will find something here that makes life, wherever you are in it, a little brighter, a little less crazy, a little more everything.  It is, as fleeting as a blink of an eye, no matter how complicated we make it.

Mill Creek Park

Riverside Gardens

The Start of Something Wonderful

Welcome! I have always thought of starting a blog to get my thoughts out there....however random they may be sometimes. This blog will have a little of everything: fashion, kids, friendship, relationships, family, home décor.... My mind is endless, so we are all in for a ride!

Great Big World

A small divide

So after much contemplation, and fighting within myself I asked My Love his thoughts on the "Marriage Proposal."  His thoughts were very clear: Marriage will not change anything about our relationship as it is right now.  So because it will not add anything to the equation, he feels that it is a mute point.  Without going into to much detail about the entire situation, I responded in perfect Jess fashion.  I stated that after a decade of dedication, love, passion, and care I felt that I had every reason to ask for the honor of being his wife.  It has been, after all, something that I have wanted for over 17 years.  ( I fell for him when I was a freshman in High school) More than half my life I have grown up with the dream of one day becoming Mrs. "D"  I have practiced my name over 10,000 times, planned the whole thing 2 different ways on Pinterest.  Yet, it is still and for ever will be just that....a dream.  I am unsure on how I truly feel about all this right now.  I'm conflicted, somewhat hurt, but still feel very fortunate and happy to have a person to have in my life for this long.  Someone who has stood by me through the worst of times in my life (no joke).  As well as the best times in my life (all of them really).  So as it is, I am torn.  What is the appropriate way to respond?  Should I be happy that I have him and not the whole dream?  Should I stand up for what I want out of the relationship knowing that it is not what he wants at all?  The answer is yes and no.  I love him, there is no question in my mind that I am crazy about him.  He has given me  life that has surpassed anything I could of imagined for myself.  The family that we have created has given me more love and affection a woman could ever need.  If I were to compare our relationship to any other that I know I cannot.  We are "Us", unique, beautiful, brilliant, crazy, unyielding.  Marriage to me now, is about nothing else but that, us.  To have the honor of being his wife, not a girlfriend.  Being a wife is ok, but being his wife has no comparison.  That says to me that he wants no one else, that he wants nothing more than to experience life with me by his side.  If something goes wrong, he wants me there to help him get through it.  Being his wife means that he knows I will take care of him at his worst as well as his best.  To be his cheerleader when he needs one, and a silent steady heartbeat to calm him after a hard day.  It says "she knows me like no one else, and I know her like no one else." And without question, if you need me I will be there, whatever it may be.  But more importantly, it says that I am the woman of his dreams, and he wants the world to know that I am his.  Maybe it is selfish in a way that I want that validation.  But the validation is a small fraction of what it means to me.  Why is that wrong?

"When men attempt bold gestures, generally it's considered romantic. When women do it, it's often considered desperate or psycho."

So as I have said before, my Love and I have been together for 11 years this September.  I have made the decision to go against tradition again.....and I am going to ask HIM to marry me.  This has been something that I have thought about off and on for about a year.  As our anniversary approaches I have really decided to take the plunge.  I know that a lot of individuals do not believe that this certain tradition should be broken, even to suggest the idea is taboo!  But it has never been my desire to live my life by others rules.  In fact, if you know me at all you know that I am the type that has to do things on my terms. Even if it means that I may get hurt.  So I am going to talk to some of our closest friends and family and reach out to them for support.  I want it to be creative, romantic, meaningful, everything that it could be.  How do I do that for him?  How can I make a traditional gesture matter to a non-traditional man?

I know that he is a private person, so I think it needs to be intimate.  Maybe just us, but with someone hidden to video tape it or take pictures.  I know where I want it to happen, it is a look out point at our favorite park.  We have taken pictures there for years, even with our daughter.  I have always envisioned a major milestone of some kind to happen there.  If I know him well enough, he would love that.  So I have worked through some of the details.  But what do I present to him? How else can I make it special for him?  Going to have to really dig deep, after so many years and so many different shows of my love, this one has to be the biggest yet.